According to popular legend, or at least Mel Brooks, having a giant schwanstucker can satisfy a woman's deepest desires:
Truth be known, my goal has always been to get a woman to sing that song ever since I saw Young Frankenstein. Sigh . . . .
Now we learn that, in Nigeria at least, they've gone beyond the very well endowed giant schwanstucker size and are breeding men equipped with the dreaded "Monster Whopper."
Not only are these monster whoppers too big for bums, they are also too big for normal delivery, shall we say. So much so that today, a "Nigerian Woman Files For Divorce Because Her Husband's Penis Is 'Too Big.'"
What the hell are they putting in the water in Nigeria? And do they bottle it?
All of this should remind us, as once told by Monty Python, that Biggus Dickus is no joke:
Lastly, a note for the ladies. Sorry to say, but according to Ann Althouse all those old tales about nose size being a reliable indicator . . . no. The only way to find out what's in the package is to unwrap it.
And even if the present you unwrap is, say, a bit underwhelming, ladies, take a lesson from global warming and ice melt: