Monday, April 13, 2015

The Hillary Show Begins

SNL perfectly captures the spirit of the Hill and Bill show going forward as they imagine the "low key" announcement of her candidacy that did in fact happen Sunday:

(H/T Legal Insurrection)

Yes, there is the sense of entitlement, the reference to the e-mail scandals, the utter lack of sincerity, and much more. Hats off to SNL for a pitch perfect skit. And the moment at 1:12 when Hillary tries to "look natural" is quite good.

Of course, the Onion's take on the announcement was equally as good:

After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in.

Comedy, but not far off the mark, I think. Hillary, as I pointed out below, intends to stay as far away from real press as possible, preferably until the coronation. We can expect a campaign of buzz words - empowerment, families, middle class - and no substance.

This from Roger Simon's post, No Questions, Please: Hillary Announces on Twitter:

America rejoice! A multi-millionairess serial liar married to a multi-millionaire serial adulterer has just announced for the presidency of our country to save the middle class from impoverishment! (Or was it “income inequality”?) (Or was it “Chelsea Clinton in a Gucci dress, Mateo New York bracelet, Cartier bracelet, Garland Collection ring, Halleh ring,” as appears in this month’s Elle?)

Better tell Rosa Luxemburg, Lenin and Trotsky, not to mention Gil Scott-Heron. His song got it wrong. The Revolution is going to be televised (until we’re blue in the face) and it will start in tony Chappaqua on a posh gated estate with pool and tennis court, guarded by the Secret Service with its own (exceptionally) private email system, infinite closed-circuit video surveillance and who knows what else?

Is everyone throwing up yet? Not even Maureen Dowd is buying. Oh, well, American “liberalism” has been screwing the lower classes for the last fifty years. Why stop now?

But maybe we are reaching a new low. It couldn’t be more obvious why Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy on Twitter and a disingenuous video. She’ll do anything not to take questions. Her last encounter with the press, over her vanishing emails, made Richard Nixon seem like Diogenes. In fact, Nixon is Diogenes compared to Hillary. Imagine how the press would have reacted if Nixon had lied about being under fire in Bosnia… or anywhere. Or had claimed that “the great leftwing conspiracy” was the cause of “Pat’s affairs.” (Well, scratch that.)

Hillary is also probably the most immoral person to run for president. Anyone who could tell the father of Tyrone Woods, the Navy SEAL murdered in Benghazi, that they would “get the man who made that video” at his son’s own funeral is capable of just about anything. . . .

And from Maureen Dowd:

Her paranoia, secrecy, scandals and disappearing act with emails from her time as secretary of state have inspired a cascade of comparisons with Nixon. . . .

She wants to avoid the coronation vibe this time, a member of her orbit told Politico’s Glenn Thrush, even though Martin O’Malley, a potential rival, objected that “the presidency of the United States is not some crown to be passed between two families” and The Onion reported her campaign slogan is “I deserve this.”

Hillary’s team plans to schedule low-key events where she can mingle with actual voters. “I think it’s important, and Hillary does, too, that she go out there as if she’s never run for anything before and establish her connection with the voters,” Bill Clinton told Town & Country for a cover story.

The Big Dog, who got off his leash last time in South Carolina, said he will start small as well, noting: “My role should primarily be as a backstage adviser to her until we get much, much closer to the election.”

Democratic strategists and advisers told The Washington Post’s Anne Gearan and Dan Balz that “the go-slow, go-small strategy” plays to her strengths, “allowing her to meet voters in intimate settings where her humor, humility and policy expertise can show through.”

As the old maxim goes, if you can fake humility, you’ve got it made. . . .

Instead of a chilly, scripted, entitled policy wonk, as in 2008, Hillary plans to be a warm, spontaneous, scrappy fighter for average Americans. Instead of a woman campaigning like a man, as in 2008, she will try to stir crowds with the idea of being the first woman president. Instead of haughtily blowing off the press, as in 2008, she will make an effort to play nice.

It’s a do-or-die remodeling, like when you put a new stainless steel kitchen in a house that doesn’t sell. . . .

Now, after 25 years on the national stage, Hillary is still hitting the reset button on her image, this time projecting herself as a warm, loving grandmother.

Politico, for its part, has already started posting Hillary campaign releases as if they are actual article. From their latest, we learn that Hillary is on a "1,000 mile road trip" to Iowa, making "unplanned" stops along the way (read "no press waiting") and in Iowa, to participate in a "series of small, private events," (read "no press invited.") The campaign is careful to point out that this road trip "was her own idea." What a woman of the people.

Lastly, this from Instapundit: "My question for Hillary, shamelessly stolen from a tweet I can’t find now: Do the underage girls held as sex slaves on Jeffrey Epstein’s private island that Bill visited feel “empowered” by Hillary’s candidacy?"

1 comment:

Roy Lofquist said...

All the charisma of Bob Dole and the reputation of Richard Nixon. I just can't believe that the Republicans got this lucky. This should take the edge off the "unelectable" trope that will be used against the more conservative candidates.