MSNBC gets my vote for Best Named Story of the year to date - Ashes To Asses, Dust To Dolts. It seems two thieves of single digit I.Q. managed to snag what they thought was a stash of cocaine during a burglary. After snorting it and not getting high, they apparently figured out that they had actually taken funereal urns containing the ashes of a man and two Great Danes.
Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that pretty close to how Cartman came to be possessed by Kenny? I can't wait until these bozos start using their feet to scratch themselves behind their ear. Rur-roh.