Thursday, January 20, 2011

More Left Wing Civility, The 50 Most Loathsome People of 2010

Daily Beast/Newsweek or whatever they are called now, issues another in a tradition of left wing hate fests focusing on the righties they love to demonize, all in the tradition of 10 Conservative women they would love to hatef*** and last years "Black Folks We'd Like To Remove From History." It's the Daily Beasts 50 Most Loathsome People of 2010. The list includes a sprinkling of of people from the left - Rick Sanchez, Julius Genachowski, Charlie Rangel, and even Obama for failing to impose every aspect of the far left wish list on America. And the list includes a few out of control Hollywood types. But on the whole, the list is basically a left wing screed against conservatives, a hit list with charges of racism, tea bagging, etc. and hopes for ironic misery and death:

46) Carl Paladino
Charges: Old-school racist, homophobe, hypocrite and purveyor of small gubmint horse porn, the would-be NY Governor’s real estate wealth comes largely from government subsidy of distressed properties. The Tea Partier wanted to impose “eminent domain” to stop the “Ground Zero Mosque,” . . .
Sentence: Buttsecks with James Dobson.

42) Haley Barbour
Charges: Looks like William Shatner if William Shatner ate a racist butter sculpture of William Shatner. As the oil and death washed ashore in the Gulf, the Mississippi Gov wooed tourists to “[c]ome on down” and “enjoy the beach.” The man was a tobacco lobbyist. He thinks the White Citizens Council is an upstanding organization. He doesn’t give a shit about you or anyone you know.
Aggravating factor: “I just don’t remember [overt racism] as being that bad.”
Sentence: Denied service at his favorite restaurant, blasted with fire hose, attacked by police dogs.

41) Christine O’Donnell
Charges: Doesn’t understand that separation of church and state is in the Constitution [note to authors - she's right, but why let that interfere with the snark]; . . . doesn’t understand that being pro-life in cases of rape and incest makes one a monster; doesn’t understand climate change; doesn’t understand evolution; . . . gives anyone with even a vague appreciation of human nature the likely correct impression that you’ve had your finger in more dykes than the Little Dutch Boy. . . .
Sentence: Burned at the stake.

38) Tucker Carlson
Charges: A consummate dildo, liar and CATO Institute lackey . . .

30) Mitch McConnell
Charges: Yet another example of the direct proportionality of evil to jowl size. . . . Aggravating factor: “I mean, let’s be honest. Who wants to hang out with guys like Paul Krugman and Robert Reich, when you can be with Rush Limbaugh!” . . .

29) George W. Bush
Charges: Worst. President. Ever. . . .
Sentence: Made to read Decision Points in jail.

25) David Brooks
Charges: The Bernie Madoff of American letters, . . .
Sentence: Buried under rubble; cholera.

24) Sharron Angle
Charges: Imagine the most viscerally repugnant, deeply moronic and pathologically regressive position one could hold on any given issue. Good. Now imagine Sharron Angle cackling maniacally at whatever comparatively feeble hippie shit you came up with. . . .

23) Joe Barton (R-TX)
Charges: A former oil company consultant, “Smokey” Joe is a potent combination of corrupt and cretinous. . . .
Sentence: Drowned in a shallow pool of pig vomit

21) James O’Keefe III
Charges: Like Sacha Baron Cohen mixed with G. Gordon Liddy’s fetid stool. Embodies every sniveling, Docker-clad College Republican to ever overlook the 9th fairway and obtusely bemoan lower class entitlements. A Breitbart disciple, he sparked the ruin of ACORN, an honorable advocacy group for the poor, by dressing like a pimp and editing like Leni Riefenstahl. . . .
Sentence: Sold into Bacha Bazi [underage male prostitue in Afghanistan].

18) Andrew Breitbart
Charges: Partly responsible for the abysmal online apothecary known as The Huffington Post and the career of James O’Keefe, whom he taught everything he doesn’t know. His Drudge-inspired bullshit finally hit the fan in July when he posted an out of context video excerpt of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod that implied she was a racist. . . .

17) Rand Paul
Charges: Named and molded after a writer whose sheer intellectual repugnance spawned an entire generation of thinly-veiled Social Darwinists. He tried to equate racial discrimination with “free speech,” saying that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was tantamount to big government regulation. Cried, “Medicare is socialized medicine!” while hypocritically deriving half of his ophthalmology income from Medicaid and Medicare. Portrayed criticism of BP’s little “accident” as an “un-American” symptom of our “blame-game society.” And then there was that befuddling college prank where he and another secret-frat dildo tied up a girl, blindfolded her, made her do bong hits, dragged her to a creek bed and forced her to swear allegiance to “Aqua Buddha.” . . .
Sentence: Raped in a quarry by Evil Frank Gehry.

15) John Boehner
Charges: Cries so often he embarrasses Glenn Beck’s family. An incorrigibly lazy corporate puppet who owes his emotional instability to legendary Merlot consumption and his radioactive Naugahyde complexion to innumerable special interest golf junkets.
Sentence: Lung cancer.

14) Barack Obama
Charges: Outside of his promise to never end the pointless war in Afghanistan, his word has the integrity of Halliburton cement. Whether it was a “robust” public option, real net neutrality, importing prescription drugs, barring lobbyists from serving in the White House, meaningful Wall Street reform or ending the Bush tax cuts for the disgustingly wealthy, our President caved like the Metrodome under the weight of a bloated oligarchy. Most irksome, he seemed dignified doing it.
Aggravating factor: Authorized the assassination of Americans accused of terrorism.
Sentence: Primary challenge from the Rent is 2 Damn High guy.

12) Pamela Geller
Charges: The Woodward to Orly Taitz’s Bernstein, publisher of the mendacious blog Atlas Shrugs and co-founder of the hate group Stop Islamization of America. She was the bigoted fountainhead of hysteria over the “Ground Zero Mosque,” . . . This lunatic makes Ann Coulter seem the very model of civility, reason and grace.

11) Roger Ailes
Charges: His entire life is an object lesson in pernicious mendacity. Before being named Fox News President/Rupert Murdoch henchman, he was a consultant for Nixon, Reagan, Elder Bush and Rudy Giuliani. Party to News Corp.’s $1 million donation to the Republican Governors Association; ultimately responsible for Fox News Washington managing editor Bill Sammon’s fiendish email, which ordered Fox employees to use the term “government option” in place of “public option,” and more recently, responsible for Sammon’s missive requiring staff to challenge the “veracity of climate change data.” In granting the Tea Party media saturation, and employing demagogues like Beck, O’Reilly and Hannity, Ailes has absolutely destroyed the impartiality of the fourth estate and made a large segment of the population ever more stupider. . . .
Sentence: Gassed by Garrison Keillor.

10) John McCain
Charges: If you were in a coma during the ‘o8 election or too young to remember McCain’s role in the Keating Five/Savings and Loan scandal, his stance against MLK Day or his betrayal of the dinosaurs, you may have been under the false impression that he was one of the few Republicans to not be a pandering piece of shit. 2010 fully erased that unfounded myth, as he flip-flopped like beached salmon on immigration reform, the border fence, climate change and the repeal of DADT in a race to the bottom against his Tea Party opponent J.D. Hayworth. Ultimately responsible for raising Sarah Palin to national consciousness.
Aggravating factor: “Today [the day DADT was repealed] is a very sad day.” . . .

9) Tea Partiers
Charges: Openly racist and lying about it, uber-religious, hyper-hypocritical, usually-tetched old codgers who wheel around in their Medicare-provided Hoverounds® and rage against fiscally irresponsible social programs, like Medicare, because they’re too dumb to realize that they’re co-opted, Machiavellian mouthpieces of greedy billionaires.
Aggravating factor: They elected some 40 candidates to Congress.
Sentence: The consequences of their actions.

8) Jan Brewer
Charges: Gila Monster eugenics gone horrible awry. Killed two people, and another ninety-six languish, unable to afford the life-saving transplants for which she slashed state funding. Cut health care for kids too. Hates health care. Horny for the NRA; signed law nixing concealed carry permits, which had no ill effects in 2010. None. Don’t worry about it. Not a problem. Seriously. It’s totally cool. Attempted to justify the draconian racial profiling law SB 1070 by repeatedly citing fictional desert decapitations. Lambasted as the Himmler of the Southwest, she protested, saying her father died fighting the Nazis. He was never in the military. He died in ‘51. From lung cancer.
Sentence: Followed everywhere by a mirror; subsequent heart attack.

7) Glenn Beck
Charges: Cries so often he’d embarrass himself—if he could feel embarrassed or ashamed about anything. . . . This year, he besmirched the antiwar legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. with his contemptible military worshiping “Restoring Honor” white power religious rally. But it was OK, he demurred, because he didn’t stand on the same exact step of the Lincoln Memorial. His dyslexic game of “Pin the Paranoid Delusion on the George Soros” directly inspired at least three would-be assassins (in 2010). A Latter Day, Romper Room Father Coughlin who screams “eugenic” as frequently as sane people say “hello.”
Sentence: Banished to the planet Kolob.

6) Sarah Palin
Charges: An ideologically abhorrent dunce whose answer to everything—caribou, wolves, Julian Assange, feminism, science, decency, accountability, the English language, Democratic incumbents—is to shoot it dead. From conspiring to advance her ham-legged, clopping daughter on “Dancing with the Stars” to successfully endorsing a slew of faux-revolutionary Tea Party imbeciles, she’s a persistent, violent rash on the entire body politic.
Aggravating factor: “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”
Sentence: Shot in the head by a bear.

4) Justices Alito, Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia and Thomas
Charges: Their majority opinion in Citizens United v. FEC was the worst decision since Scalia instituted SCOTUS Hot Pants Fridays. . . . This is the very definition of “legislating from the bench” and ensures our elections will be dominated by well-funded Swift Boating for the foreseeable future. If democracy was an experiment, this case blew up the lab. . . .

2) David & Charles Koch
Charges: In a land filthy with noxious liars, these two are the filthiest. . . . How they make money is dirty; how they spend it is dirtier. From free-market-humping think tanks CATO and Heartland to Tea Party-backing Americans for Prosperity and Freedom Works, they invest vulgar amounts of money in misappropriating populist rage and misinforming the ignorant masses on climate change, tax reform, environmental policy, health care, and any other issue that could cut into their fat bottom line.
Aggravating factor: In a philanthropy-meets-disinformation masterstroke, the Smithsonian’s new $15 million David H. Koch Hall of Human Origins is a climate change whitewash, which teaches that destroying our environment is no big deal because we can just adapt and evolve.
Sentence: Fed to the Kraken.

1) You
Charges: Your brain’s been cobbled together over millions of years of blind evolution and it shows. You’re clumsy, stupid, weak and motivated by the basest of urges. Your MO is both grotesquely selfish and unquestionably deferential to questionable authority. You’re not in control of your life. You wear your ignorance like a badge of honor and gleefully submit to oppression, malfeasance and kleptocracy. You will buy anything. You will believe anything. . . . You believe in American exceptionalism despite the contrary, compelling and overwhelming evidence. You tacitly partake in all manner of atrocity without batting a lash. You’re actively participating in our species’ extinction and you’re either in denial or you just don’t give a shit. You escape into every sort of mind-numbing distraction and ridiculous, convoluted fantasy, so you don’t have to face the bitter, terrifying fact that your life is utterly meaningless.
Aggravating factors: The careers of Rush Limbaugh, Oprah Winfrey, John Stossel and Justin Bieber; the success of The Secret, “Medium” and Atlas Shrugged; the election of Rand Paul; the existence of Kentucky, Texas and “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”
Sentence: Bad teeth, an affinity for afternoon tea and the guilt-plagued, nostalgic psyche of a fallen empire.

And that demonizing and snark filled wish for violence and death is what passes for humor on the left. So tell me again about how conservatives are to act with civility. There was a time when I would have laughed at the above and just let it pass. Those days are over. It is long past time to hold these people to the standards they would impose on conservative speech.

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