Wolf Howling: cats

Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts

Saturday, September 22, 2012

The "Innocence Of Dogs" Causes Howls Of Protest; Obama Issues Apology

The recently released film, the "Innocence of Dogs," a virulently anti-dog film produced by Cats Uber Alles, a U.S. corporation owned by one Kitty Galore, has led dogs to violent world wide protests organized by the Islamadog Foundation. The protesters, who condemned the film as "blasphemy," called for "death to all four legged chew toys" and a global ban on insults to canines.

In response to this unrest, President Obama immediately had Kitty Galore called in for questioning by a joint FBI/ASPCA task force and asked Google to "review" whether the film should remain on line. In addition, he produced an advertisement wherein he apologized to dogs everywhere, stating that their protests were the "natural result" of the provocative film and adding that free speech in America must be exercised with restraint. Sec. of State Clinton also appeared in the ad, pointing out that the U.S. government does not in any way agree with the "disgraceful film." In an apparent gesture of goodwill, the President invited the head of the Islamadog Foundation, Mo bin-Barken, to "dinner at the White House," an invitation the foundation has declined pending clarification of whether the invitation is for bin-Barken to be a guest or a menu item.

Update: Thanks for the links to Bookworm Room, Crusader Rabbit, Larwyn's Linx, Monkey In The Middle

Tweet

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Cry Havoc And Let Slip The Cats Dogs Of War

Among the highly trained soldiers sent to dispatch bin Laden to meet his 72 sturgeons, one had 4 legs, canine teeth - and it wasn't a cat. According to reports, it was a Belgian Malinois named Cairo, though his precise mission in the bin Laden raid is not known.

So why was Cairo there and not Felix the cat? Rob Long, writing at Ricochet, states the obvious - you "don't bring a cat to kill a terrorist," explaining:

[I]n the debate of Dog v. Cat, case closed. Dogs are fierce warriors, loyal friends, hard chargers, face lickers, snack lovers, and, clearly, patriots.

True. All true. And as one commenter to Rob's post cogently adds, "if we depended on cats to protect us we would all be in burqas by now."

Today's military canines perform a wide variety of tasks, from security and capture to sniffing out IED's. But dogs have been used in warfare since antiquity. Indeed, prior to the invention of gunpowder, and for several centuries thereafter, war dogs have been used to fight as part of armies. This from Wiki gives a good overview:

War dogs were used by the Egyptians, Greeks, Persians, Sarmatians, Alans, Slavs, Britons, and the Romans. The Molossian 'Canis Molossus' dog of Epirus was the strongest known to the Romans, and was specifically trained for battle. However, when fought against the broad-mouthed, powerful mastiff of Britannia, they were outmatched. The Romans exported many of this breed of mastiff to Rome and then disseminated them over the known world. Often war dogs would be sent into battle with large protective spiked metal collars and coats of mail armor. The Romans had attack formations made entirely of dogs. Native Americans also used dogs, though not on this scale.

During the Late Antiquity, Attila the Hun used giant Molosser dogs in his campaigns. Gifts of war dog breeding stock between European royalty were seen as suitable tokens for exchange throughout the Middle Ages. Other civilizations used armored dogs to defend caravans or attack enemies. The Spanish conquistadors used armoured dogs that had been trained to kill and disembowel when they invaded the land controlled by South American natives. The British used dogs when they attacked the Irish and the Irish in turn used Irish Wolfhounds to attack invading Norman knights on horseback. Two wolfhounds, or even a single one were often capable of taking a mounted man in armour off his horse, where the lightly armed handler would finish him off if necessary.

Later on, Frederick the Great used dogs as messengers during the Seven Years' War with Russia. Napoleon would also used dogs during his campaigns. Dogs were used up until 1770 to guard naval installations in France . . .

Bottom line, I agree with Rob, if I have to go to war, its going to be with my hounds by my side - no cats need apply.